I have a slightly different take on the events of the last month or so but certainly the support and courage were unbelievable.
Thanks to my team forever.Very funny reading all this afterwards...a bit disconcerting having such deeply personal and difficult memories so out there in cyberspace. Tom...maybe we should just change the Blog to The Loud Family?
I remember sitting up and eating jello just the next day after surgery then things went crazy...the fluids and imunos, all that stuff was pumped in and it was lights out. They did not mention the violent delusionsional states and all-night hallucinations on the brochure. As I came to find out it was just the random side effect from the medicines. I stayed up 73 hours once at school. Did some nice drawings but it was wacky time. I was relatively sure I went over this in the hopital. I think my Dad really had a tough time the first few days. In post op I vaguely remember holding on to him with both hands asking for pain meds and shaking like crazy. He had to yell at the staff twice to help me which they did way to late to erase that fond memory. Do all surgery units run out of morphine? If not it's an excellent practice and they should all do it. How cleansing.
I have received a couple of evaluation forms from Strong for feedback....hmm...I may have to attach additional sheets.
Pop, Tom and Lizzy pulling those late night watches really was heroic. I kept thinking if I was them I would not want to be in that uncomfortable chair for hours at a time watching me get filled with water. I would drop out of a bizarre halucination about how everyone at Kodak had turned into ferdnand legger? people (all very round) and they were floating around me telling me about the new kodak color schemes...only to see the concerned face of my team in the garish fluorescent lighting...also scary at times. "Jim...You OK?" I was never sure what to say. As bad as I felt physically and mentally, I could not believe they could keep hanging in here. I was starting to feel bad for them. At least I was lying down. I remeber one nightmare/hallucination was about how the building code was in my room and I had to fix everything before it was to late. Kristin said I was drawing in the air all night. I was so out of it I did not realize what these things were until days later.
The worst was day 3 or 4 when I was having breathing problems. Everything was going wrong all at once. The pain, the diarrea, insomnia, constant cold, the noise, the water swelling, the meds and all I could think was I did not write Grace a goodby note. I was cursing myself out. I think that was when I got out my fat black mental sharpie and wrote down above my mind "you have a job to do".
Thankfully...they pulled the ivs out and started draining the 40 lbs of water they inflated me with. I had to stay in two extra days so they could pump fluid from the incision. Gosh how did all that water get there? Brilliant.
The return of the sarcasm was euphoric to say the least...to want to share and laugh after 6 days of hell was overwhelming. Luckily the kidney transplant patient in the bed next to mine (Andy)was completely on the same page. We just started making fun of the staff and soon it was a full time job. The indian dr's names were just to darn funy. Dr. ketchupandmustard, Dr. areyouok and drJain or as we reffered to him as dr pain were so easy to immitate. It was good therapy. We're going for ribs this week to celebrate our first 6 weeks of no rejection. They would send in a 20 year old tech at 4:40 everymorning to get the morning blood draw and we would jump on them (verbally) until they would leave the room to stop laughing. Its hard to stick a needle in a vein when you are laughing. Thanks to Andy...we got out the same day. We had a plan if they did not let us out...it was the Strongshank Redemption.
Phase II was of course geting better at home. Sleep was better and it was great having some peace and quiet. I shaved my face clean the first morning home...holy crap a extra pale middle aged skeletor was smiling back and I realized that I should put more time into that decision after haveing some sort of beard or goatee forthe last 15 years. Tom and Pop rotated in and out. I notices after a week I was driving them crazy. I think though that is part of theprocess. When you are willing to get your butt of of the chair and do it your self you must be geting better. I will post pictures of the three of us in the dining room with the lap tops. It was hot so it was the stink tank.
So now Pop visits for a few days and Tom has moved to syracuse and is somewhere in wyoming with chillipepper. Maybe he is visiting dick cheneys home town? The side effect theatre is not showing as many features. Many of the meds have been reduced. The sugar problems are subsiding. Hopefully Iwill be off the insulin soon. It feels like it will take anoter month to be better but I am glad to be this far.
Well Iam hungry so I need to end this...I am thankful to my big sister for being her and a three point match, to Mot, Pop, Lizzy for the unbelievable support, for the ones who supported them, for the drawings from my daughter and neices and nephews and for all the cards, thoughts and prayers from y'all.
Fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy tonight because I can. Life's a dinner. Make something you love.
Jimmy
